V I V I A N

2010-06-11T10:22:00.001-07:00

If saying goodbye hurts so much, why do we say goodbye? Because it hurts so much more to keep holding on to something that isn't there. Like you're hanging off a ledge and someone is jumping up and down on your hands but you still can't let go. Like when you're little and you're being tickled...you shout for it to stop because it's torture, but then you go back for more, because somehow being tickled makes you feel safe and special. Holding on is like that...but the torture is painful...and it doesn't make you smile. That's why we're supposed to say goodbye. That's why we're meant to let go

Life's hard. always hard.

As i grew older i said the word i love you less

2010-01-26T07:38:00.000-08:00

Dear Mom & Dad,

As I got older I said the words I love you less and less. I guess it's a child's way of becoming independent. The truth is that I love you and never any less but always more.

I know you know, but I wanted to tell you anyway. I can never repay you for all you did to raise me. There are sacrifices unnamed that children never realize until they are grown. The cost was never a question with you. You just gave and gave so that I might be what I am today.

I thank you for who I am. You have taught me many things, but the greatest of these is unconditional love. Your strength and encouragement are models for me. I realize that no matter what I do or dream, I can always go to you and that you will be supportive.

Forgive me if I haven't told you enough, but always remember that I love you.

Your Daughter,
Vivian Chang

..

2010-01-13T04:24:00.000-08:00

pengen cepet2 talk it out loud ke ortuu..
pgn ngmg semuanyaa ke tmn2 ..
gw udahh SUNTUK ! :(
CAPEEEEKKK !

hurts like hell..

2009-12-23T07:40:00.000-08:00

Can't believe about what happened last night..
feeling so sucks.. feel like want to die..
what i need is only a happiness..
a real happiness... :(
I'll be strong..sorry daddy , if i've done many mistakes to you..
Sorry daddy.. i can't be a great daughter for youu..
how i wish you have another daughter..
better than me.. can make you proud..
she won't stubborn as me..
not going have a fight with you..
i know i am the one daughter in our family..
i always try my best to be the best.. the best daughter you ever have..
hahaha. but you know..
butterfly fly away !!
actually , i only have myself to blame !
feel mad , angry , dissapointed ..
please calm me down..

P.S : you are my dad.. always my dad..

keep turning on my mind..

2009-12-19T11:32:00.000-08:00

It's 3am anyway ! :)
masih chatting dgn erickwek , and oke. -.- 1 org lagi yg beneran freak .
hahahaha.
gw ga tau kenapa bbrapa ari ini , gw beneran ga bs tidur..
apa gara2 gw asal mikir ya ? :(
emm.. pikiran gw skrg beneran ga bs lepas dr kata2 someone yg blg klo gw ini slalu lari dari masalah..penakut , pengecut ..
gw udah ga bs lari , and sembunyi lagi skrg..
rasanya tiap org pasti bakal dpt mslh yg berat..
waktu itu kita bakal ngerasa pgn lari , nyesel ..
bakal ngerasa hidup kita ga ada artinya..
hidup tapi ngebohongin diri ndiri..
hidup penuh dgn gengsi..
hidup penuh dgn ketakutan..
ga ada keberanian buad bertindak..yeah , kadang lu bakal pgn banget buat lakuin sesuatu yg bener2 bs ngubah suatu keadaan..keadaan dimana itu akan buat lu happy..but,kadang ketakutan kita ndiri yg STOP kita buat bertindak..

kadang lu bakal bs feel jealous banget liad kebahagiaan ortu dgn anaknya..:)
bagi anak yg kurang bs deket ma ortunya , hal itu bener2 plg diinginkan..
but , d hati anak itu , uda ada kata 'MUSTAHIL' . hahaha

yeah , buat gw pribadi ..
gw beneran butuh buat lbh sayang ma diri gw ndiri..
blajar untuk menghargai diri gw ndiri..
gw yg slalu lari dr kenyataan..
gw yg udah jadi pengecut slama ini ..
and i'll try my best to be the best for everyone..i promise..

P.S : I promise to someone who told me all of these things.. Someday i will change this situation.. thanks bgd udah nyadarin gw.. thank you for your advices.. We're always friends.. :) i love you.

It's complicated.

2009-12-09T07:43:00.000-08:00

Tiap manusia PASTI punya masalah..
ga ada yang bakal lepas dari itu..
dan masalah itu bakal selesai kalo ada yg ngalah dan selesaikan baik-baik..
inget , diri kita ndiri yg ngontrol semuanya..
ngontrol pikiran , ngontrol perasaan kita semua..
kita hidup buat diri kita ndiri ..
bukan menurut org lain..
Keknya bakal capek bgd hidup mengikuti org lain..
klo kita suka 1 barang , yah suka aja..
klo org lain benci 1 hal , tp kita suka . yah blg suka aja.
klo org lain ada masalah ma org , kita ga ada mslh. yah uda , jgn anggap ada masalah lah.
Jangan biarin rasa cemburu nguasain diri kita. rasa cemburu itu relatif..
but , one thing.. you must control..
Tolong , jangan biarkan org lain yg salah paham ke diri klen..
yah , i know. Ga ada manusia yg sempurna di dunia ini. :)
Semua org bakal ngerti itu..
please , take this time to realize..buka mata lu !
inget.. !
waktu itu berjalan cepat.. this is our last yearr..
EVERYONE LOVE PEACEEE !! SO , SORRY THENN , IF YOU HATEE MEEEE..
BUT , I STILL LOVE YOUUU . peaceee ! :)

P.S : emm . kesabaran ada batasnya :D who people who dislike me . love you. HAHA.

Friendship.

2009-12-08T07:56:00.000-08:00

Let's make a resolution..
I'll drink to that.. 'Let's always stay friends'..
Friendship is thicker than blood...
That depends...
Depents on trust.
Depends on true devotion.
Depends on love.
Depends on not denying emotion...

P.S : Thanks for giving me a chance to explain everything , God.. It's just like my long dreams.. thank you , C . Peace . :D

wondering..

2009-12-08T07:28:00.000-08:00

I swore I'd let nobody in
Not that way again
I'd fixed it so they won't stand a chance
But you lessened the distance
I think you knew what this could be
You never gave up reaching for me

And its still a mystery
What you see in me
Coz you know I've never been an open book
But maybe I'm changing
Just a little less true
There's not a question
I owe it to you

Because you hold me up so high
Give yourself with no condition
Because you guide me
When I'm stumbling in the dark
You hear what's deep inside
When I need you there to listen
You're the one who won my heart

The one who won my heart...

P.S : It's over .. everything is over .. :)

2009-12-08T00:53:00.000-08:00

hahahahahhalolo